Hello Hurricane
you can't
silence my love
Speak up or die
Tammie says Smile!


Hello there, Stranger!
Welcome to my humble little blog.

The name's Tammie, but friends call me Tam (not 'thumb').

Who am I, you ask?
I'm not that smart top-scorer girl in your class.
I'm not that pretty lass you always see on the streets either.
I am passionate, stubborn and emotional.
My absolute most favorite thing to do is hanging out with people I care & love.
My passion burns for Jesus & photography.
I wish to travel more and see more.

This blog was created so I get to jot down my feelings.
Happenings in life.
That is, if I'm not too lazy to update ;)


Blogger Buddies :3

Shanlyn Yin Nancy Cynthia ChinTeng Jocelyn Choulyew KarNee Amanda XinYong JiaWen Gacky MingSheng Alex WeiShze Netty Chii Ace Dominic Nicholas
Saturday, September 12, 2009 @ 3:58 PM
Story of a girl -part 2
If you haven't read the 1st part please do so before continuing with this :)















To her horror
a visible line appear
a deep blue
a line, no doubt.

She was stunned
for the next hour
she sat on the bathroom floor
sobbing
crying
still clutching on to the positive pregnancy stick
wondering what is to become of her

She called him.
'Hey babe' he said smoothly

She told him.
He was shock.
He told her to be calm.
He told her not to worry.
He take care of things.

She calmed down but terribly frighten.
She waited for him to come back from wherever he is, to her.
She waited and waited.
But he didn't show up.
She waits some more.
Crying again this time.

She tried calling him
but was told his number was no longer in service
she tried every possible way to contact him
but somehow he seems to have disappear.

She doesn't know what to do.
Her belly is growing bigger each day.
She despise that thing inside her
It has robbed her off her freedom
It has robbed her off her love life
She just wants it to go away...

She can't keep it from her family anymore.
If she continues to wear baggy clothes
her mother will start asking
her appetite has grown too
and she can't continue suffering the morning sickness anymore
the vomiting was horrible
and she gets headache every morning.

She has to do something.
she was desperate

by this time, she was 18 weeks along.
She had no one to turn to
No one knew
No one will know
She has made her decision.

And yes,
she went to the Abortion Clinic- secretly, quietly, alone.
The doctor did not say much
He just briefly told her what he was going to do
She only nod
She wanted to run away
but she couldn't..
She lied down on the cold hard table
She didn't remember much
Everything seemed dark and fizzy
She just knew she wanted it done as soon as possible
and she just felt dizzy..

There was pain
There was blood
lots of blood..
She was told she had lost a lot of blood
She was advice to not move around too much after this
She though she had passed out
She was told it's over by the nurse
she was still weak
but somehow she managed to get herself out of that dreaded place..


Cold.
Weak.
Sobbing.





All those happened 20 years ago.
She's a married middle age woman now.
married to different man.
with 3 children of her own.
None of them knew her past.

And sometimes,
during the night,
when her kids are asleep
and her husband snoring away next to her..
She sheds tears
many silent tears
for her unborn baby
her first baby
the baby she had killed.

she whispers words of apologies to it
but no amount of apology seem to make her feel better
she regretted what she did
she regretted how she felt towards it
She felt like a monster.

She was young
She was naive
alone and afraid
that was the only thing she could do
She hope that one day
when she gets to see her first child in heaven,
she'll hold it close
and tell her how sorry she was
for taking it's life
before it could talk.
She only hopes it will forgive her..

Hope.
Because that's the only thing she can do.

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